Spring Break Stay-cation

During Kamden's and my Spring Break, Justin was able to take a few days off.  Justin and I wanted to go somewhere.  We talked about booking flights to Chicago so Kamden could experience his first plane ride.  But it was more expensive than we wanted to spend.  Plus the weather would have been brutally cold and that wouldn't be fun to walk the streets of Chicago.

So we spent a day at the farm and visited with Justin's dad and stepmom.  Kamden was actually able to spend the night up there.  They showed him how maple sap was tapped from the trees and then made into maple syrup.  He also got to help feed their animals.  Kamden loves to go to the farm!

Then we decided to take a drive to Sandusky to spend a couple days at Great Wolf Lodge, an indoor waterpark.  The first afternoon, Kamden was a little leery about the big slides, and just stuck to the kiddie-sized slides.  He also tried out a log-jumping water adventure.  It reminded Justin and I of Frogger.  This was also Kadence's first time in a pool.  She did not act like she liked it much, but I also think she was tired and just wanted a nap. 

The next day, after Justin spent some time prepping him, Kamden got the nerve up to go down one of the big slides.  It was one of those that is totally enclosed and actually sprials around inside and out.  The first time he came through the tube his face looked a little anxious.  But by the second time, he was all laughs and smiles.  I lost count of the number of times he went down the tube slides.

All smiles with Daddy after braving the tube slide

We spent all day at the waterpark, from roughly 10:00 AM until 6:00 PM.  Kamden only stopped long enough to get a drink and to eat a pretzel.  Good thing we made him eat a big breakfast that morning!  He explored the entire water fort, jumped on the logs many times, went down almost every water slide more than once, and swam in the big pool and the lazy river (he chose not to sit on a raft and float through the lazy river).  I think Kamden wore Daddy out!

I enjoyed the day cuddling with my baby girl.  She took 3 naps throughout the day and I was able to catch up on some reading while she napped.  We took her into the pool and lazy river a couple of times.  She eventually learned to like it and began to splash her hands in the water.  And she even let Daddy play with her for a bit so Mommy could go down the big slides with Kamden.

Awakening!

Turning 7 months old must be an awakening experience!

Kadence was officially 7 months old on Sunday.  She woke up slightly earlier than normal at around 7:30 AM with a runny nose and watery eyes.  But still happy as ever!

After an hour nap in the afternoon she woke up fussy, so I held her and she went back to sleep.  Who could resist holding a snuggly baby who didn't feel great?!  I loved it!

Kadence sleeping in Mommy's arms!

Monday was a normal day in regards to napping.

Monday night/Tuesday morning was a different story.  Kadence... known as our great sleeper ... decided that 2:30 in the morning was a good time to wake up and play.  She cooed and played with her pacifier in her crib.  But after over an hour, she was getting louder and louder.  All I kept thinking was that she was going to wake up Kamden.  I didn't need both kids awake!

So I brought her in my room and tried to rock her in our big recliner to get her to settle down.  Well, she was not happy about that so she started fussing which woke Daddy up.  Around 4:00 in the morning, he took over and got her to settle down and go back to sleep.  Mommy was able to get another hour or two of sleep!

She slept in Daddy's arms until 8:45 AM.  I believe she had a normal nap day on Tuesday.

She slept great Tuesday night until 5:40 AM Wednesday morning.  She woke up happy again.  Cooing and playing with her pacifier.  I let her play and tried to get 20 more minutes of sleep before my alarm would go off.  I got up and got ready for work while she continued to play in her crib.  Who would have guessed that a pacifier would be so entertaining!?!  Before I left, I took her in to Justin fearing that she would wake up Kamden.

Wednesday was a rough day all together sleeping wise.  She only slept 15-20 minutes in the morning and 15-20 minutes in the afternoon.  What happened to our good sleeping girl?!?!  Daddy was getting frustrated.  She would be happy one minute and fussy the next.  So I came home from work early and took her to the doctor.  They wanted to make sure she didn't have an ear infection.  Nope...her ears looked great!  So, again, I ask. . . What happened to my good sleeper?

She fell asleep in the car on the way home from the doctor.  Of course!  And slept for about 45 minutes in her carseat in the family room.  Whatever it takes!  And woke up happy!

Thursday morning, Kadence woke up at 6:10...just as I was getting in the shower.  Since she was happy, I left her in her crib.  She started fussing just as I went downstairs to leave at 6:50.  But Justin was able to get her to go back to sleep until 8:30.

Early Friday morning at around 1:30, I hear Kadence again.  Kind of cooing, kind of fussing.  I gave her some time hoping that she would put herself back to sleep.  She tried....and tried again.  But then she lost her pacifier.  I went in and rocked her to put her back to sleep.

She awoke again!

Around 2:30, she woke up Justin.  He feared that she would wake up Kamden.  But I was watching him like a hawk in the video monitor and he wasn't moving.  Eventually, she was getting frustrated.  I went in and rubbed her back and she finally calmed down . . . until around 6:15 in the morning. Awake again.....but she must have figured out how to put herself back to sleep this time because she didn't wake up Daddy until 8:00 AM.

I guess Kadence is done spoiling her mommy and daddy.  And I guess mommy is going to have to start drinking coffee every morning again!

I wish for one more hug!

My aunt Tammy had open heart surgery on Wednesday, November 13.  It was scheduled.  She had been experiencing shortness of breath throughout the entire summer so she felt she should go see the doctor.  Through the heart cath, they realized that she had some blocked arteries and an aortic aneurysm.  Surgery was scheduled 2-weeks later.  I knew it was a major surgery, but I did not realize it would change our whole family.  Tammy shielded me from all of the possible risks.  I think she shielded most of us from knowing the risks.  That was her nature....happy-go-lucky, making sure everyone was doing OK. 

The planned 3-hour surgery lasted about 7-hours.  It was much worse than the doctors thought.  But she survived the surgery and she had a healthy heart beating inside of her.  Little did we know that she also experienced several strokes during her surgery. 

The first time I saw her after her surgery was 2-days later on Friday.  She was sitting up in a chair, asking for something to drink, and responding to questions.  She knew her name and her birth date.  When asked if she knew where she was, she responded with "Saturday Night Live."  She told me she was the host.  That made me laugh...she always enjoyed that show.  Now, I know that should have been one of our first signs that something was not right.  Her confusion about being at Saturday Night Live, instead of at Riverside Hospital, may have been due to the swelling in her brain. 

Three days later, as I was making Kamden his lunch, my mom called me to tell me that Tammy was being moved to ICU.  She was having trouble breathing, and was being put on a ventilator.  I sat in the mud room crying, asking my mom if she was going to be OK, while trying to shield my 4-year old son from my emotions.  I packed the kids up and took them to my in-laws.  Shaking the whole way, I drove to Riverside Hospital...not knowing what to expect, but knowing I wanted to be there to see her and to be with my grandma and uncle.

That was November 18...a week and a half before Thanksgiving...about the time that Tammy thought she'd be going home to recuperate. 

The day before Thanksgiving I got another call from my mom, asking me to come to the hospital.  Again, I drove to the hospital shaking, not knowing what was going on.  Sitting in the waiting room were my mom, grandma, and uncle with tears in their eyes.  Scott got the vibe from the doctors that she may never be able to get off the ventilator, and, if she did, they were not sure what the future really looked like for Tammy.  My mom wanted us all to be there because this was the first time that Scott had really broken down in front of all us, and she needed Heather and I there.  We all agreed that Tammy would not want to live on a machine for the rest of her life, but we were not ready to give up on her!

There were a lot of ups and downs for the next month.  She would try to talk to us, but couldn't with the ventilator.  Even after they took the ventilator off, she would try to talk but no sound would come out.  Tammy was always one who read lips since she had a hearing loss.  But, unfortunately, she never taught us to read lips.  So it was difficult to try to figure out what she was saying to us.  She also was having trouble seeing. Her eyes were swollen, and not tracking.  So when we tried to get her to write, she would just scribble letters on top of each other instead of moving them along the page.  I am sure she was frustrated!  I wish I knew what she was trying to tell us!  She was on and off the ventilator...but mostly on.  Eventually, they put a traech in and put a port in her belly for food.  This prevented her from aspirating (which she had done at least twice).  She could not swallow anything.  She experienced a couple bouts of pneumonia.  On the positve side, she also had some physical therapy, and even stood up with the help of the therapists!

A couple days before we welcomed in 2014, Tammy was finally stable enough to get out of ICU and be moved to Select Specialty Hospital.  They are known for weaning patients off the ventilator and rehab.  The first two weeks of the year went very slow in regards to progress with Tammy.  We felt they were not doing much to rehab her.  But she was too sick to have rehab.  She wasn't strong enough to begin the weaning process or to do any type of therapy. 

Then, one day while Grandma and I were there, the nurse agreed with us that they needed to re-evaluate her.  They were ready to start some therapy.  Tammy was beginning the weaning process, and was even able to stay off the ventilator all day (though on those days she slept most of the day because breathing on her own was tiring).  The therapists had her sitting up and even standing up (with help) on occasion.  She was putting on her glasses when prompted.  And she started moving her left arm, which hadn't moved since early December.  But then the weaning process digressed.  She was having more and more trouble breathing.  Everyone was convinced that she was not going to be strong enough to live without a ventilator.  And the hardest decision was made...to let nature take its course. 

Tammy Lynn (Moore) Mallasee, my aunt who loved to be with family and give hugs, died just after midnight on Sunday, February 2, 2014, after being off the ventilator for about an hour.  She spent all day on Saturday, staying awake and "visiting" with friends and family.  It was like she knew that was going to be her last day, and she was going to make the most of it.  Everyone was there to see her, and she wasn't going to miss a minute of it!  That is so like her...always wanting to be a part of the party!

I feared telling Kamden about Tammy dying.  I was not prepared to tell my 4-year old that Aunt Tammy would no longer be able to play pool with him or to watch his new swimming tricks.  Justin handled it so well.  I am so glad he has been by my side throughout this whole ordeal.  Even a month later, Kamden will still ask a question out of the blue about Tammy.  I know he thinks about her just as much as I do. 

This picture was taken the day before her surgery.

I do not go a day without thinking about Tammy.  We used to limit her to 3 hugs a day when we saw her (just as a little joke).  But now I wish for those hugs!  I miss her!  And I will not limit anyone to just 3 hugs a day!